Grand Theft (1971)


"Who the hell are Grand Theft? They're nigh-ungooglable -- the album this song came from is eponymous, and even looking up "Grand Theft + 1971" (the apparent year of release) or "Grand Theft + [song title]" turns up almost nothing relevant, the exception being the Acid Archives, which posits that they were actually a Washington folk band called Bluebird who did a one-off album to make fun of richly deserving target Grand Funk Railroad. Whatever the case, the song is about a rat who gets Jimmy Page's guitar plugged into his ass (he was mistaken for a fuzztone) and I'm not sure what else happens, actually; the lyrics are delivered in this Jonathan-Richman-manic-meth-episode ramble which comes off as kinda improvisatory. And the rhythm is a lumbering boogie slog that does sound like a pretty irritated mockery of that type of early-decade post-Vanilla Fudge faux-blues, repelte with ridonkuloid guitar noodling and a whole lot of fake(?)-stoned mumbling. The last two and a half minutes involve inane parodies of "We've Only Just Begun," "Close to You" and "Wild Thing". A kazoo is involved. Maybe this is awful. Maybe it's supposed to be. I've given up trying to tell. I do want a hamburger now, I can comprehend that."

Acid Archives:

"This LP sounds like a gang of crazed teenagers causing audio-induced subsidence in the neighbourhood. If you enjoy instruments being sledge hammered to within an inch of their lives to the sound of top quality high pitched screaming vocals (and let’s face it, who doesn’t), this might be the ticket. The sound is so extreme it will make you grin and finally fall around laughing. Any LP with a 10’12” track about buying a burger, fries and a milkshake is well worth having, in my world anyway. Just marvel at the deepest lyric from “Closer to Herfy’s”: “Went driving by the lake...lookin’ for a milkshake”. Better than “Stairway to Heaven”, certainly more relevant. If ponderous, meaningless guitar based rock is your thing, then you may feel the finger of mother fun poking rather hard at your ribs. “Scream/It’s eating me alive” introduces side 1 with patent super-screaming and wasted, reverberating, guitar riffs. “Log Rhythms/Meat Midgets” chugs along with a cool, almost punk vibe. Faux mystic chanting on Ohms with lyrics like “they used to put strychnine in that stuff, we had a reeeaaal good time” cannot fail to make you laugh out loud. As we all know (now) it was ‘just a joke’, and a very funny one it is too. The sheer commitment to making something so extreme ends up producing a genre classic. The folkrock group Bluebird made it to make fun of Grand Funk. The original plain sleeve is stamped "Made in Canada". Both reissues are retitled, for some reason."


Grand Theft - Scream (It's Eating Me Alive)


son of mercury said...

this too? am i gettin greedy? haha

r0b0c0p said...

Cheers again!